I have another, more serious post about moving and stability coming up, but I don’t quite have my thoughts together on it yet. In the meantime, I present you with a list of eight things I will not miss about the current apartment:
1. The laundry “facilities” – First, the machines are functional only in the loosest sense of the word. You can definitely get clean clothes, it just might take you six hours to do a load. Second, they are located in a spider-infested cellar at the bottom of the most rickety outdoor staircase I have ever seen.
2. The nextdoor neighbors – We live next to a couple with a young son. For a while, they seemed quite nice, but there comes a point when you realize that the screaming matches are kind of a regular thing. When the husband screams that his wife is a “goddamn fucking bitch” so loudly that we can hear it inside our apartment (located in a separate house) when they have company, well, I’m sorry, I can’t even pretend that I have respect for you anymore.
3. The garage – Is falling down. Seriously, I’m afraid to lean against it.
4. The incompetent remodeling job – We live in what is typically referred to as an “owner occupied unit”. This is supposed to signify that it is nicer than other apartments because, before you moved in, the owner lived here and he made it all nice and homey. Our landlord, however, remodeled the place himself and the whole thing reeks of someone constantly saying “that’s good enough”. My personal favorites are in the bedroom where he meant to put in crown molding, but just left a few inches unpainted and never got around to it and the inch and a half gap under the bar that divides the living room and kitchen where he must have measured wrong and figured no one would notice. Oh, and don’t let me forget the shower rod that is hung so high no shower current will adequately bridge the gap between rod and tub.
5. The lack of doors – There are two closet doors and a bathroom door in our two bedroom apartment. That is all.
6. The mailman – He likes to take days off. Especially Saturdays. He also doesn’t seem to have figured out where everyone in the neighborhood lives. It’s not like the addresses are on the envelopes or anything.
7. Parking on the street – Technically, we have the garage, but well, you remember #3. For some reason, people on this street are really possessive of parking spots even though there are WAY more spots than cars. I tend to park in whatever open space is closest to the house. Sometimes, this means I am parked in front of someone else’s house. WHY DO THEY CARE? I do not throw a fit when someone is parked in front of our house. Oddly, I do not find it a giant inconvience to walk 50 feet. Our downstairs neighbor is especially bad about this. He seems to believe he actually owns the place directly in front of the house.
8. The landlord. I saved this one for last. He is not the worst landlord I have had, but he is in the discussion. We had a windstorm in September that blew off part of the chimney. He got it fixed in March. That same month, our roof began to leak. That didn’t get fixed until May. Recently, some water started leaking into the downstairs unit. He seems to expect us to stop flushing the toilet so he doesn’t have to get it fixed right away. There are other examples, but let’s just say he sucks.
Good riddiance shitty apartment.